what is it:what it is

Abject -- an object (but not an object) from which we cannot protect ourselves; what we reject, but also that with which we cannot part. What is it? What it is: imaginary, yet real; immoral, scheming, hateful, yet smiling, seductive; the friend who betrays you. Abjection is what defines our borders and yet what invades and invalidates these borders: death infecting life (comment 1).

Life is so fragile, the law that keeps us from one another's throats is so very fragile, that when we see something that makes us aware of it, we are faced with the abject and become encompassed by it. Here is where I see the break occurring -- how we recognize and understand this collapsing, fainting away of the self, the abjection of self. As an example, I remember a visit to the museum that Auschwitz has become, and how I was engulfed by abjection there. When I saw, what was it? Shoes, dolls? Something everyday that you might see in a shop window or under your Christmas tree… It set my world on edge, affected my equilibrium, knocked my feet from under me. Why? How did this simple pile of dolls do it? By shoving in my face the things I'm used to seeing as my saving graces: children, science, education, the fact that a human being has value somehow. In the revelation of depraved Nazi killing, I am killed. (comment 2) An example like this lets everyone relate. I must include it.

Perhaps, in the very next section, I will write something like this: "There is nothing like the abjection of self to show that all abjection is in fact recognition of the want on which any being, meaning, language, or desire is founded." (comment 3) It relates closely to the Auschwitz example in that part of what brings on abjection is our desire for life, the desire to feel secure in ourselves, to defend our borders. What I am really talking about here is want, the object of want, really, that results in abjection of self. In some way this is all tied in with the creative -- art, literature...the ways we express ourselves, the way we attempt to put what is inside, out. It might be interesting, later in the book, to explore anti-semitism in literature…I am thinking Céline. He is a perfect example, really. Brilliant, yet clearly borderline in his identification with the Nazis – a classic abjection to maintain a whole, strong I. I can devote an entire chapter, perhaps more, to it. But first I need to get through chapter one.